The Bat Cave

Starring: Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, Cobie Smulders
Director: Lasse Hallstrom (Chocolat, The Cider House Rules)

Quick Thoughts: I’ll admit to owning The Notebook, but nothing else that has been adapted for the movies in the Nicholas Sparks collection has struck my interest and half of the movies based on his books I don’t even remember coming out. Needless to say, I had no interest in watching Safe Haven and it’s 13% rotten rating had me absolutely dreading having to sit through it. But when you’re in a relationship, sometimes, them the breaks.

Well, Safe Haven certainly didn’t disappoint with it’s snail-like pace and uninteresting, predictable plot. The movie opens with Julianne Hough running away from an apparent law enforcement officer and settling down in a quiet town, hoping not to be bothered or recognized. It doesn’t take much running time to figure out who the real bad guy is and when the “reveal” does happen, it’s borderline insulting… but that doesn’t quite match what Safe Haven has in store for us later in film when the final twist is learned. I mean, Cobie Smulders (from “How I Met Your Mother”) had to be in this movie for some reason, right? Seriously though, Sparks takes the one touching moment he managed to find in his novel and then slaps the audience across the face one more time. Apologies for any potential spoilers here, but if you can’t figure this one out by the half hour mark, well…

I could go on listing reasons why I didn’t enjoy Safe Haven, but I didn’t want to waste my time watching it, so I’m certainly not going to waste too much time writing about it.

Viewings: 1
Replay Value: None, IMO
Sequel Potential: None
Oscar Potential: Zero.
Nudity: None
Grade: 2.5/10 (Horrible/Skip It)
RottenTomatoes Scores: Critics: 13% Audience: 71%
IMDB Rating: 6.2/10
Recommendation: Boyfriends, if you’re worried about seeing this movie, you should be! I’ve seen more painful movies in my day, but I’d bet Safe Haven is the worst film I see in 2013.