The Bat Cave

11:01 AM: So yesterday I played an 11.5 hour $15/$30 session and thought maybe if I didn’t blog it I would have a chance to book a win! And I was right! I finished at +$509, which is my best $15/$30 session since January 1st! Wow.

And it was a hard-fought small win. I was stuck basically the entire day – even -$1000 at one point – and I was card dead all day. I don’t even know how I did it really.

Last night, I had the K9 of diamonds and triple barreled the T9xddA9 board and rivered The Tick’s AQ, which seems like the first showdown I’ve won against him in four sessions. And you know what happened next? After playing for 10+ hours, this guy didn’t take another hand. Losing one pot to me was more than he could bare.

Palace is about to spread $15/$30 for the fifth day in a row, which is amazing considering I thought this limit was in trouble as recently as Saturday. Now it really looks like it could be an everyday possibility.Starting lineup today, 6-handed: Game Genie, Elmer, Chief Wiggum, a loose non-reg, Atlanta Braves shortstop and leadoff hitter Dansby Swanson, and myself.

First clash feels like every hand of $15/$30 ever for me: I open KK, Elmer cold calls button, big blind defends; flop QJx two spades, I bet, Elmer raises and I 3-bet; he calls 4 turn; I check-call ace river and lose to AQ. Standard!

11:31 AM: Super Dave, the world’s biggest maniac, has made us 7-handed.

11:32: And we’re full: loose $8/$16 reg and an unknown.

11:38 AM: Super Dave just won back-to-back massive pots vs me:

65hh < 53o on 654Q7

QTcc < K7 on K87QK

The two hands that sandwiched that he lost massive pots with ace high.

This guy almost never has a pair. Why me? Why always me?

-$500 😂😂😂

11:51 AM: Super Dave 3, Dark Knight 0:

QQ < 94o on 7439K

This dude has not won a pot against anyone else yet. He’s shown down ace high four times.

Just 3-bet AThh and c-bet J73 flop 3-handed and by river I have worst hand against QT and T9.

Seriously considering discontinuing the blog today – I just run amazingly bad when I’m blogging my sessions. I’m not superstitious but wtf.

-$900 in less than an hour.

12:23 PM: I reloaded $1k already. Super Dave had $1500 after he dusted my queens with 94o. He has less than $300 now. I haven’t won a pot since he sat down. It honestly makes me sick.

12:30 PM: Super Dave has felted all his chips… and all my chips. It’s gotta be some kind of sick joke.

12:32: I open KQcc. I’m the only raiser. 3-handed on KJJJ. I’m in last place. I promise you this shit is real. Big blind has Jx and button has AA.

12:46 PM: Super Dave 4, Dark Knight 1

He pays off my A3 on A535J but outdraws my 99 on the very next hand. No momentum.

12:50 PM: Top top vs AA, but neither of us can beat J7.

This is a total zoo game. Super Dave is at 100% VPIP, 60% PFR after 25 hands; two other players have VPIPs over 60%. The two worst players have felted already and I’m down $1500 somehow.

Game Genie and the unknown player to my right (@ 77% VPIP) have all the chips.

12:58 PM: Another player felts and is replaced by The Tick.

1:14 PM: The three worst players have felted a total of four times. Two have left and been replaced by The Tick and Radio Mike. I am down almost $1600. Super Dave still has about $800 and if he leaves I may actually vomit. The unknown to my right has bumped his VPIP over 80% now.

1:21 PM: I open KQdd UTG, Super Dave 3-bets and The Tick can’t fold JTo and of course he gets the KQ9 flop. I’m in $4000 already and probably down $2000.

And…. Super Dave cashed out.

Someone kill me.

I’m experimenting with a new app which is how I can mention stats. Super Dave finished with a 100% VPIP and 69% PFR over 41 hands.

1:32 PM: Finally caught a miracle: AJ (ace of hearts) on KQ8hhT4 capped on flop… I bet and three bet on flop and I can’t get Radio Mike out with the same hand (no hearts) so I have to split this massive pot with him. No joy. I find no joy in winning half of this pot.

Dansby Swanson chimes in with “you guys were so crushed on the flop” and I’m taking a walk outside because I snapped back “no shit, man. We had ace high.”

1:42 PM: New goal for the day: not to react to anything.

2:10 PM: Goal failed already. Dansby opens, I 3-bet TT, two others in; board runs out T986J and I lose to Dansby’s AQ.

2:19PM: the unknown on my right with the 80%+ VPIP had over $1500 and now has less than $100. So… to recap: four different players have felted or dusted off big stacks (not including me) and I’m somehow stuck almost $2k with that much overlay. It almost seems impossible.

3:15 PM: Just went runner runner flush with AKdd vs AQ on QTxd7d2d and got told “nice catch” because, you know, I’m running so pure.

3:30 PM: So pure. I open AK, Dansby check-raises me in Overs on AJ3, I call, bet turn, he donks 7 river. NH A7.

3:46 PM: T2cc just raised button after limper and capped after I 3-bet AQ from big blind. Obviously can’t beat that hand.

3:54 PM: Player I’ve tracked last two days at 43 VPIP 4 PFR (over 500+ hands) just opened and I 3-bet QQ. Three on us to T75 two diamonds and she check-raises and caps. I think I’m dead already. I call down and through some miracle from the heavens she is torching with KT offsuit for some reason.

4:11 PM: Another miracle: the torcher with the 80% VPIP (and T2cc capper) raised limpers on button, I 3-bet AQ again, he caps again. Flop KT3, I check-raise the other two players out and he calls. I brick turn, bet, and… he folds! 🙌🏻

Chief Wiggum is eating something that smells rancid and I ask him about it and he starts saying how good it is. I say “it smells good” and he starts telling me about it and I say “let Radio Mike smell it” and he immediately grabs his plate to and brings it to Mike’s face, unaware of Mike’s pet peeve with other people’s food.

That was amusing enough to give me a second wind!

4:56 PM: Huge pot. I have A7ss on 532ss7 and lose to Radio Mike’s 62 when we both river straights. Would have got me to less than $1000 stuck but now I’m sitting here wondering how I can smash the board when I really need a big pot and lose to bottom pair.

5:05 PM: Just made quad jacks and got paid off on all streets and I’m up for top High Hand but I have to fade 18+ minutes.

5:26 PM: My High Hand held! Don’t call it a comeback! Seriously. Don’t.

Radio Mike opens, I defend JJ. Flop QJT. I check-raise, he calls. King on turn. He has AT. No waiting. No board pair. He checks back river for some reason.

5:40 PM: Actually the comeback is on. I’m down less than $1k now which feels like winning at this point.

5:47 PM: Four limps in front of me, I limp 96o, 7 of us see T96cc flop. Tick leads, two call, I raise, two cold call, and six of us to 3d turn. Tick donks again, one call, I raise, Taz cold calls again, and four of us to ace river. Tick donks again. I feel like I’m losing now, especially with his extensive history of rivering me lately. I call though and he tables JT!

He’s heating up! Down less than $600 now.

6:37 PM: And slipping back down. AK whiff, AQ whiff, JJ < AQ.

7:05 PM: My wife just put her name up for $15/$30 which means she must think they will start a second game – and they might be able to…

7:16 PM: Welp. They started a second game and the only thing keeping me in this current game was the 80% VPIP on my right… and then he cashed out!

And was replaced by The Human Torch! He sits down with $500.

But yes. Palace has two $15/$30 games going.

7:36 PM: And now my wife is in the same game as me. 🤦🏻‍♂️

7:41 PM: A couple good things happened. I raised AThh on a 972 flop trying to pick up outs with an obvious AK or AQ out and went runner runner flush instead and got a raise in on the river. Then I flopped a set of fives heads up against the big blind and dodged A7dd on 653dd.

Also, The Torch went through that $500 in less than ten minutes… and was replaced by my wife. So my close call decision to switch tables is now a no-brainer.

8:49 PM: I’m finding it rather difficult to track everyone’s stats and blog at the same time… I’ve been playing a lot of hands. I’m running at 35/20 over 300+ hands because the players on my right have been so loose and passive.

I just limped along with K8dd and turned a flush against T9o on TT7ddQd.

Still waiting on my table change but two players with VPIP of 50%+ have Overs here. However, the other game is significantly better. 🤷🏻‍♂️

8:56 PM: My wife just put her “I mean fucking business hat” on… which she wasn’t wearing when she check-raised me on the turn heads up twenty minutes ago. 🤔

9:02 PM: Going bad again. Both 50% VPIPs just torched me for big pots. One makes a one card flush with JTo on the river and I just ran QQ into AA against the other player on AQ66J and lost basically all the bets and now I’m walking around outside in disbelief.

But the bad thing about walking around outside is that the smokers all feel it’s appropriate to ask “how’s it going in there?” – a question I don’t like answering when things are going great, let alone when I’m getting my teeth kicked in.

I think I got up to as much as -$550 but I’m probably back to -$1500ish.

When did this game become so hard?

9:16 PM: That was a pretty long break I just took, but how comical is this? The player that filleted me with those aces is… gone. Of course he is.

9:25 PM: Special player in the game. Basically always sits with near min-buy and always wants an Overs button. I have been playing here since late 2014 and I’ve legit never seen him cash out one chip.

9:42 PM: OMG so many crazy hands. I can’t type them fast enough.

One hand: I flop top top with AK against The Tick’s ace plus nut flush draw and he 3-bets flop and never stops betting, which is a line he’s always had me beat with (when he’s sober), so winning that pot was a nice surprise.

I also raised the turn heads up in Overs with KJdd on T98dd8 and didn’t miss. 😮😮

10:03 PM: Finally got my table change. New table has The Hit&Run King, Taz, and a bunch of crazies.

Now that I’m here everyone is going to abandon ship. That’s how it goes. I don’t think they know how much I’m bleeding lately.

10:13 PM: First pot at new table. I raise A8hh utg, Taz cold calls button, both blinds call. I double barrel 985dh2d and check-call 3d river and lose to Taz’s K7 of diamonds.

Just turned quads with AQ though and I’m up for High Hand again.

10:19 PM: Jesus. The blinds at my table just ran it for high hand and the small blind flopped a straight flush to notch me with four minutes left. I wish I could take a picture so you could believe this shit I’m telling you. Paying $6 to run it for a $250 High Hand and it costs me $150.

I did get another $90 in High Hands though, so that’s something.

11:11 PM: Player posts in the cutoff and checks, I raise 54cc on button and we are heads up. I turn a flush which is cool. He has A3cc though, which is standard.

11:30 PM: Nothing is easy today. Crazy opens, there’s a call, I 3-bet KQhh and get the QQ7cc flop and then get check-raised on Jc turn which is kind of gross but then the 9c river bet makes it really painful. Fortunately he is punting with two red 8s and I pick it off.

12:02 AM: The poker gods just rewarded me for all the pain I’ve endured today. Button straddles, SB 3-bets, I call with 44 from big blind, and four of us see the 654ss flop. It goes two bets on flop and then the PFR donks ten turn, I raise and the button 3-bets, SB calls and I cap it even though I’m not sure I’m good here. River: 4. We get three bets in again three ways and, yes folks, it’s a one-outer against the button’s 55. Also good for another second place High Hand.

Button is berating me after the hand saying “aren’t you supposed to be a professional? You’re sloppy as fuck.”

😂😂😂

I mean… it’s hard to feel bad for the guy when he’s being a dick about it, but let’s be real: I haven’t taken a beat that bad today!

12:55 AM: Got to my happy place: 6-handed poker, no chopping, which is past everyone else’s pain threshold. Two players leave for $8/$16, one has been sitting out indefinitely, one goes out to smoke, and another says he’ll only play 4-handed if we straddle every hand. I’m not saying no to that… but I am now sitting here first up on the list instead of playing poker because people think short-handed is “bad.” So frustrating.

1:06 AM: Yup. That’s a session. Cashing out almost $3000 so I’m getting the awesome comments of “nice job” and “how do you win every day?” These people obviously don’t read my blog.

Final score: -$1117

I will not be blogging my session tomorrow, dammit. Guaranteed winner!