The Bat Cave

I just endured one of my more obnoxious tournaments in quite some time. I usually play the morning tournament at Chips Casino on my days off and because of the structure, I play a pretty fast and loose game in the early stages. Since the blinds double every 11 minutes, I like to play a lot of pots early to try to build a big stack so I can handle the huge blinds in the end game, so I’m usually one of the first people out or I finish in the top 3. After splashing around a little bit and making a couple moves that didn’t pan out, I found myself with half my stack gone after a couple orbits. I was down to $325 with blinds at $25-$50 when I picked up AK under the gun and shoved it. I get called by AJ and finally win my first pot.. but my stack is still pretty puny. With blinds at 50-100, someone opens to $300 and I shove with 99 and get called by AT and double up again. Now I got a playable stack. However, I dwindle a little bit and only have $1200 in chips when I make the final table. Blinds are 50-100 and this is when things start to get obnoxious. I pick up a pot and have about $1500 when this hand happens. I have 5h3h in the big blind and one person limps, who we will call Dumb Hick, the small blind calls and I check. The flop comes 733, which is beautiful, but it’s unlikely I’ll make any money here. If more people were in the pot or maybe if a flush draw was present, I’d usually just go ahead and lead out and hope I get some action, but I decide to check. It checks around and the turn card is an Ace. Perfect. I check again, almost sure that Dumb Hick is going to bet. He bets $200 and the small blind calls, which was a little surprising. I could shove it here, but I’m unlikely to get called and I want to make a little money on the hand so I make it $650 to go. I get called in both places… good result, although I’m starting to wonder if the small blind is underplaying a better 3 than I have. Obviously the river is another ace and I end up check-folding to Dumb Hick, who shows AJ after I table my 3 in annoyance. Then Dumb Hick has the nerve to say “I knew where you were at,” gesturing towards me. Oh really? You knew I had a 3 and you decided to call me with two outs and one card to go anyways? You’re a fucking genius. I didn’t say that, but I was sure thinking it. Anyways, the hand crippled me again and I was down to $650 instead of having $2850 (and maybe $3500 if the Dumb Hick calls an all-in on the river). Blinds go up to 100-200 after that and now I’m pretty much going to go all in any time it folds to me. I do this once and don’t get a call, so I’m up to $950 when it folds to me again and I shove again without looking. Dumb Hick calls me and shows As8s. I flip over my first card and it’s a ten of hearts… flip over the second card it’s a beautiful ace of hearts. I have him crushed. The flop comes ATQ, with one spade. Awesome. Turn card is a 7 of spades obviously… can’t just win a hand without having to sweat a little bit. The river is a Q and I have to settle for a split pot. Fuck my life! Now I’m at $1050 and I have to fold because people enter the pot before me and I don’t pick up a hand. Finally, I’m under the gun and shove as soon as the first card is dealt to me. I don’t even care if people know I’m not looking at this point. Amazingly, it folds around to the big blind and he decides to call me with… 9h8h. Brilliant. I flip over my first card: 9 of spades. Oh oh… this is either going to be really good or really bad for me. Second card: King. Sweet! I hold and double up. I end up folding both my blinds and have about $1800 when I pick up AdKd on the button. Dumb Hick raises enough to put me all in and I eagerly toss in all my chips when it folds around to me. He shows King-Ten and I have him dominated for the third time. The flop comes T86, with two diamonds. Great… the moron outflopped me, but at least I got a flush draw and 3 outs to an ace. Not horrible. The turn card is a Q, giving me another four outs, for 15 total, but the river is a king giving him two pair and I’m broke. Then Dumb Hick reaches his hand out as I’m about to walk away and I really don’t want to shake it… in fact, I feel like puking on him instead.. but I reluctantly shake his hand and then walk out of the building steaming. Seriously though… it’s bad enough to lose three big hands when you have your opponent dominated, but when it’s the same guy every time, that shit is tough to stomach. I wanted to punch him, honestly. I hate poker right now.