Mission: Impossible – Quitting Nicotine (Day 5)

August 22, 2010

Okay, last night was a total bitch… just as I thought it would be. I actually did stop at the gas station, but I stopped for something to drink, not for chew. As I was paying though, I thought about how easy it would be to purchase a can and just simply not tell anyone. If I were to buy a can last night and suddenly not update this section of my blog for a few days, would anyone even know? Who am I doing this for anyways? Well, I made it through the night.

Today, I woke up and read an interesting comment on one of my Mission:Impossible posts. The poster said “Quitting nicotine needs no willpower if you a)understand the true facts and b)decide you don’t want to take nicotine any more.” Naturally, this poster didn’t share what the “true facts” are and added “If you think about [it], why would it take any willpower not to do something you don’t want to do. At the moment you are deriving yourself of something you still want to do.” This is a fair point and it’s one I often thought about when I quit drinking for the first time. Any time I heard someone say they were going to try and do something or try to quit something, I would just smirk to myself knowing that they would fail. In my mind, if you needed to try to ween yourself off something, you might as well save yourself the pain and effort. You don’t try to quit anything, you simply do it.

It made me wonder what this man that commented on my post does with his day. Does he get on Google and search for the keywords “quitting smoking” or “please come rain on my parade” and stop by for a reality check that wasn’t asked for in the first place? Listen, I know this is a hopeless task. Why do you think I named it Mission: Impossible? What I don’t need is someone stopping by and bringing me down for trying to achieve a goal, no matter how far-fetched it may be. Do I want to quit using nicotine? When I was at the gas station today looking at my favorite brand, my body was sure as hell saying “No… No you do not.” But logic says a completely different thing.

So yeah, I’m going to use willpower to quit nicotine. But really all that means is that I’m using willpower to get through the tough part… the first couple weeks. Believe me, I want nothing more than to say “screw it” and admit that this poster was right. Honestly, a fresh can of chewing tobacco sounds more satisfying right now than a blowjob from Angelina Jolie. So no, I don’t want to quit and yes, I’ll probably fail in the end… but do me a favor, if you’re going to visit this section of my blog and post comments, please try to keep them positive. I need cheerleaders, not naysayers.


  1. Congrats man on making it through day 5, I feel your pain for sure. I think quitting smoking was the hardest thing for me to get rid of, that shit is a bitch and from the sounds of the way that guy was talking, I don’t think he ever had a smoke in his life. It’s tough to get rid of, that’s why it’s called an addiction. I do feel you are going about it in a very hard way and could maybe make it a little easier on yourself by using your same method of gum, mints, seeds and whatever else to keep your mouth busy along with nicotine patches to help ween you off your cravings a little bit at a time. Nevertheless you should be commended for your attempt to kick the habit and if its something you want bad enough, you’ll get through it. Oh and by the way… if you really wanna pass up the bj from Angelina for a can of chew, I know a guy that’ll gladly take your place!

  2. Morning Mike,
    This is Jim from Scotland here. It was me that posted the other day about willpower. If what I wrote yesterday came across to you in anyway as negative, let me reassure you it was not my intention. I know 100% what you are going through as i have been there so many times. The reason i posted on your last post was that I could see that you were thinking the way I thought every time I tried to quit smoking and I wanted to help you and I still do..I assure you. Also the occasional missed “p” in my spelling is down top a cranky P button on my Blackberry!!. In answer to your question about what I do in the day, I am a fully qualified Allen Carr’s Easyway to Stop Smoking therapist and have been for almost 4 years. I have treated almost 600 nicotine addicts of all ages, shapes and experiences and overall the success rates I have had have been in above 50% at least. I smokes from 17 till 35 and watched my father die at 54 to lung cancer so have seen the worst parts of this addivtion.
    The reason I referred to “true facts” is that the vast majority of information regarding smoking/chewing/nicotine addiction is flawed. Its information that the so called medical experts tell nicotine addicts about. For example a commonly held belief is that nicotine helps people to relax. The reality is that as nicotine is a stimulant, it actually increases the heart rate by around 8-10 beats per minute. So, in fact nicotine physically cant make you more relaxed. It would be great to keep the discussion going to see if I can help you through the quit.


    • Just a follow-up… I failed in this quest. I started chewing again probably within a couple weeks, but I haven’t had a dip since December 31st, 2011–or roughly 14+ months.

  3. Quitting smoking is the easiest job in this god damn world and i tried it 1000 times.

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