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Muckleshoot $400 5th Sunday of the Month Tournament (Live Blog!)

April 29, 2018

I didn’t blog my session yesterday, but if you read my post on Friday, you know I didn’t get home until nearly 4 AM, so when I started getting texts around 10 AM that the 15/30 game was going short-handed, with players that had been playing all night, I wasn’t quite ready to make my return to the casino. Seriously, by noon, three different people had text me to tell me the 15/30 game was going short-handed. I have to say it’s pretty cool that people see something like that and feel the need to flash the Bat Signal in the sky.

I ended up taking my sweet time getting to the casino, running a lap around my block, updating my rosters on MLB The Show, playing a game, and drinking my coffee, but The Leak was REALLY taking her sweet time. I gave her a significant head start on getting ready and I still ended up sitting around twiddling my thumbs for nearly 45 minutes. It was one of her all-time greatest getting ready performances in our 6+ years of being together.

It was past 2 PM when we left the house and I knew the 15/30 game was currently three-handed and I knew that two of the players had been there since the night before and that one of them was The Gnat.

I made a bold prediction to my wife: I said that after playing for over half a day straight and all through the night, The Gnat would quit shortly after I sat down in the game. There are players that love the challenge of playing against me and there are players that really want no part of it (and, of course, the majority of the players don’t give any shits). I’m pretty good at sizing up which group people belong to and while almost everyone doesn’t mind playing with me in full games, it’s extremely common for people to abandon ship as the games get shorter. I could tell The Gnat was a ship-jumper. He puts on quite a bravado facade and when he’s sitting next to The Flea he has been extremely arrogant and condescending to a lot of players – especially me. But I know he doesn’t want any part of me. Not really.

He exceeded my expectations. After I bought in, he immediately took a break and never got dealt in another hand.

Then he surprised me. After walking around the casino and socializing for a half an hour, he came back to the table and racked up his chips and suddenly started talking to me like we are friends. He said he finally got even and had been playing all night long and straight up admitted to everyone at the table that he’s scared of me and said that I’m the best player he’s seen at Palace so far. Wow. It was quite the 180 from all the shit talking he had been doing previously. If you go back and read my blogs from the past couple weeks, while I didn’t give him the name of The Gnat yet, you can probably figure out when I’m talking about this player (usually sitting next to The Flea) and I had been getting nothing but condescending vibes and disrespect from him. Which was fine. I actually find joy in people giving me reasons not to like them because I mostly make my living winning money from genuinely nice people and that’s something I sometimes feel conflicted about. I would probably be happier playing at a table with eight pieces of shit.

Anyways, I’m still not a Gnat fan and I’m sure he was just feeling the high of being stuck on a bender and finally getting sugar. He’s the type of dude I expect to go right back to being a dick the next time I see him. Maybe I can finally give someone the Two Face nickname.

I ended up absolutely smashing those guys three-handed. Granted, the deck was slapping me in the face. I was dealt an insane amount of premium pocket pairs and my unpaired starting hands flopped top pair or better at a very favorable frequency. When you are playing short-handed against a good player that’s also running hot, you have zero chance. I ended up winning $1422 in less than 90 minutes before killing off one of the players. I then played 8/16 for two hours and realized the 15/30 game wasn’t going to restart at a decent hour and decided to go home and rest up for the tournament instead of grinding out at smaller stakes.

I’m about to hop in the shower and head to Muckleshoot to play this tournament with a ridiculous start time of 10 AM. There’s a scheduler that knows nothing about his player pool. Poker players don’t want to wake up at 8 or 9 AM to play tournaments on a Sunday. Generally, we’d rather start at noon and play til 2 AM if we have to.

One thing I’ll elaborate on before I head out: I mentioned that we might have a WSOP Main Event-sized last longer bet in this tournament and I guess I should elaborate on that. Originally, Palace was supposed to host a 10 player $1100 buy in one table satellite today and the winner of this table would use the money to travel to Las Vegas and buy in to the $10,000 WSOP Main Event. At the last minute, a decent amount of the players decided they wanted to play the Muckleshoot tournament today and the satellite was cancelled. It was proposed to me that we do an $1100 last longer bet in the tournament instead and the winner of the last longer could use the money for the same purpose. Since my backers are covering this 100% for me, I don’t care what we do, but this last longer sounds much more appealing than the one table satellite, so I’m in.

When the satellite idea was proposed to me, I balked. I would have to put up $1100 for a roughly 10% chance at having 73% of myself and have to piece out the remaining 27% nine different ways. This didn’t appeal much to me. I have had plenty of people offer to put me in the Main and my absolute worst case scenario plan is that I’m going to sell 80% of my action at 1.25 markup and play the Main Event at zero cost to myself. 20% of myself 100% of the time sounds better than 73% of myself 10% of the time. You can do the math there and see that it’s a pretty simple decision, especially when you consider one route costs $1100 and the other route costs $0. But then my backers said they would just buy me in and I couldn’t say no to that. I believe the same deal would apply to this last longer bet.

Getting in shower and leaving shortly.

10:32 AM: Well, I started this thing off in spectacular fashion. Before I can even digest the particulars I’m posting with the 53 of clubs and find myself in a 6-way limped pot.

The flop is 532, I bet 400 into 600 and three players call.

Turn is brutal, yet interesting: 4 of clubs. The 2 of clubs is on the flop. So I now have two pair and an open-ended straight flush draw and the current best hand 0% of the time. It checks to me, I check, the button bets 2k, the small blind calls, and the big blind makes it 5k. I have a pretty monstrous draw so I’m not interested in folding here, but I do have a bit of a dilemma because calling can create some problems. But let’s be real here – I’m not folding this hand during the rebuy period.

I call. And the bad things happen. The button jams for 18k, the small blind folds, and the big blind calls for 10.5k. I spent some time trying to do the math of the situation and determined that I needed to call 13k to win nearly 40k, so I’m getting 3 to 1 and need to win 25% of the time to break even. I have four full house outs and nine flush outs, so I’m going to win about 26% of the time, plus I’m guessing I have two straight outs. Calling here is correct. Plus I can still rebuy for another 90+ minutes. I stick it in and whiff against two 6x hands.

That cost me almost 80% of my stack on my first hand dealt in.

I guess this is a good time to mention that the last longer bet is NOT in play. If it was, I probably would have check-folded this hand on the turn because the button reraising is so likely.

I wasn’t planning on playing snug, survival poker with my remaining 6k and I dwindled down to 5k before squeeze-jamming over a 1200 open and call at 100/200 with ATdd. This is a total gamble since I really don’t expect a 6x open to fold to a jam of my stack size, but I’m not looking to sit on a 25 big blind stack this early in a re-entry tournament with deep stacks. Unfortunately the small blind reshoves with a huge stack, which is always Fuck City for me. The other two guys fold and I’m heads up against AA.

The board runs out QJxKx which looks good but the river is a fourth spade, giving him a flush and I head to the counter to buy my second bullet.

11:07 AM: I guess I can offer the particulars now. Starting stacks are 25k with blinds beginning at 100/100 and currently at 100/200 with an additional 200 ante from the big blind. Registration is open for another hour.

Big Daddy started his job as poker room manager at Muckleshoot yesterday so hopefully he makes an appearance at some point today.

11:34 AM: One of my buddies and fantasy baseball foes is currently sitting behind the Pacers bench at Game 7 of the Pacers-Cavs series and I’m trying to spot him on TV. You can too. He’s wearing a big blue clown wig so it should be hard. He says he directly under the State Farm sign to the right of the Pacers bench. So sick!

11:45 AM: Notables in the field: Solomon Grundy, John Kim (on his third bullet!), Bill W, and Chief Wiggum.

12:09 PM: Some gifts from Muckleshoot:

I actually like the jacket, but I’m not sure I can wear a jacket with my name on it in public and not feel like a tool.

12:11 PM: 21.7k @ first break. Blinds are 200/400 with 400 big blind ante. Registration is closed. 89 players entered and 73 remain.

12:39 PM: Obviously super card dead. I’ve won one pot when I opened with AJ and flopped an ace on a super dry board and got two streets of action. I’ve speculated with A3ss and 77 and whiffed in raised multiway pots. I opened AQ and whiffed and the man called a river bet when all the draws missed and the board paired, losing to J9o.

12:44 PM: Blinds just went up to 300/600 and I have 17.6K. The good news: even though I’ve had ZERO momentum, I still have 30 bigs nearly three hours into this tournament.

12:51 PM: Tourney life decision: folds to me in hijack, I make 1500 with AKhh, button 3-bets to 5100, and it folds back to me. One thing I know for sure is that I’m not folding. Standard 4-bet jam here. Calling would put almost a third of my stack in pre so that’s not an option and folding is just silly. The only play here is JAM. I stick it in and he winds up folding.

A short while later, I open KK to 1500 and the next player is my only caller. Flop is QQJ with two hearts and I decide to check-call 2k. Turn is a 9 and I take the same line and she checks back. River ace of hearts and I’m very happy to see her check behind because that means my hand is always good.

Not exactly a huge coup with the kings but it’s better than losing the pot on a very dangerous board.

27.7k

How good is Mitch Haniger at baseball? Didi Gregorius is getting all sorts of attention for his ridiculous start – and deservedly so – but Haniger is basically right there with him and has received almost zero national attention. Maybe it starts today?

1:26 PM: Heads up with Solomon Grundy in the blinds, he limps, and I check back T3o. He reads my blog sometimes so it’ll be fun if he winds up reading this hand.

Flop 654, he bets 1k and I call.

Turn is a 3 and he check-calls 2k.

River is a 2, bringing a final board of 65432 and putting a straight on the board and he checks to me. It would be pretty sick if he was inducing me with a 7 here, but I don’t think he’d take this line, so I bomb it for 10k and he folds.

1:31 PM: Two hands later and we have lift off! I have AA on the button and there’s a 2k open and a call from Solomon Grundy in front of me. I check the stack sizes and eventually make it 7500 because I’ve come to learn that my 3-bet sizing has been too small. Only the opener calls.

Flop is 876 with two clubs and I’m 100% committed and now I have to figure out the best way to get my remaining 24kish in. How likely am I to get action if I jam 20k into a 15k pot? Not really sure. It seems like he has an overpair or… nothing. I decide to go the milk route and bet 10k and if he has a set here, bless his soul. He calls.

Turn pairs the 6 and now I have an easy jam and, after acting like I have a decision, I put it all in and he snap calls with… KK, for the ultimate cooler. I dodge a king on the river and get a full double up.

62.2K

2:14 PM: 64k coming back to 600/1200.

Here’s my buddy at the Pacers game with the blue wig and the shellshocked face in the background:

2:45 PM: Middle position opens to 3200 and I flat on button with AA. Sometimes you have to take some risks to accumulate chips and I think he’s more likely to put more chips in the pot with a c-bet than calling my 3-bet. Plus other good things can happen. The small blind jams go over 30k, the big blind and opener fold, and I snap call and roll and hold vs AQ.

106k at 600/1200.

2:52 PM: Just called a 20k jam with JJ and held vs KTcc to bust a player. We are surging!

3:08 PM: Here’s Bill W’s bust out hand. 100k pot, all in on the flop. Doesn’t get any sicker than this (might have to zoom in):

3:23 PM: Currently at about 150k with blinds at 800/1600. 29 players remain and ten of us will cash. First place is $10.2k.

3:41 PM: Here I am trying not to be embarrassed as Aquaman stops by to blatantly take a picture of me:

And here’s what my wife is doing:

Eating bugs.

And spiders.

😮😮😮

4:11 PM: Here’s an aspect of no limit that drives me nuts: players that hold their cards in a way that blocks their chip stack so that you can’t see how much they have. It’s pretty damn relevant and it’s kind of awkward to ask the same person every time how much they have. Ugh.

Of course I could memorize the stack sizes but that seems to be a skill set I don’t have.

4:30 PM: Dinner break. 140k coming back to 1500/3000. I think there are 25 players left. Cards back in the air at 5 PM.

5:24 PM: One limper, cutoff makes it 15k at 1500/3000 and I call with 88 on the button. We are heads up to 752 flop and he leads 25k. He has about 55k behind and I have an overpair to the board. Not really sure what else I can do but put him all in here and hope my hand is good, so that’s what I do and he starts tanking and I’m ecstatic that I have the best hand.

He does wind up making the call though and I have to dodge… wait, what the hell? He has TT? Jesus. You can never be too careful, I guess, but he thought long enough that I was positive I had the best hand. Kind of a brutal unintentional slow roll. The turn is a 9, giving me straight outs, but I brick the river and I’m down to 52k just like that.

I know I had 52k because he opened the next hand and I jammed on him with AQ suites and he folded.

I’ve lost some more pots since then and I find myself in that special comfort zone of about 14 big blinds.

Not sure if that 88 hand qualifies as a blowup but it sure feels gross. I had 140k 36 minutes ago. 🤮

5:38 PM: Jammed AT right after posting that last update and busted a 32k stack when I outflopped his 88. Back up to 88k and we are down to 19.

5:55 PM: Open to 10k with KJdd and a loose player jams 27k. I snap and hold vs QTo.

Back to 111k. 16 left. Chief Wiggum and Solomon Grundy still in also.

6:06 PM: 14 players left and all seven at my table have 20+ bigs. Not sure what’s going on at the other table, but could be a bit of a bubble.

6:20 PM: Currently telling stories about getting arrested while I was playing poker at All Star Lanes and how I’ve been kicked out of every poker room in Kitsap County and Shoreline. Most people have a hard time seeing that but that’s because I’ve been sober eight years and basically no one on this side of the Narrows Bridge has ever seen that side of me.

6:31 PM: 13 players left. Blinds are up to 3000/6000 now and I have a little over 90k, which is the smallest stack at my table.

6:37 PM: 12 left.

6:49 PM: Dwindled all the way to 38.5k. Button opens 20k, I jam with A7dd and he calls, obviously, with… AJ.

Flop… all diamonds! And we are back to 90k.

6:55 PM: Cutoff opens 20k, folds to me in the big and I look down at JJ and all my chips go into the pot and he snaps so fast and excitedly I know I’m not going to see AK. Up against AA and there’s no miracle this time.

Bust in 12th for maximum time wasted and pain felt.

Ohhhhh it hurts.

No more poker today. Just gonna head home and lick my wounds.

Solomon Grundy still in with a short stack and Chief Wiggum has a very serious 300k+ stack, primed to make a run at first place.

There is a mixed house game tomorrow that I will most likely be attending and Global’s Rattlesnake Open events officially kick off at 5:30. I believe I will be multitasking but I haven’t talked to my wife about either, so who knows.

POSTSCRIPT

I went home and fell asleep before 9 PM which is absolutely absurd and woke up to messages from The Joker trolling me because The Gnat outlasted me in the tournament today.

That’s funny. The Gnat wasn’t there. But that’s not stopping him from telling everyone at the Palace that he made the final table and finished in 9th (a weird lie – why not say you took 1st or 2nd or 3rd?).

I’m sending Joker questions to ask The Gnat about his deep run and so far he has whiffed on everything: first place prize, tournament start time, did anyone from Palace go deep, etc. I thought there was some highly improbable chance that I overlooked this guy that is totally on my radar now, even though I walked through the whole room sizing every table up and seeing who I knew that was playing.

He is also claiming that he won this same tournament the last time it was played. Curious, I typed his first name on Hendon Mob and only four entries showed up and I quickly determined which one is his. He has three recorded cashes, all in the 2016 Muckleshoot Spring Classic:

13th in the $250 Shootout for $700
24th in the $300 NL for $500
9th in the $500 NL for $3070

That’s it. For his CAREER.

What a fucking clown. I’m half tempted to drive to Palace just to make him look stupid, but I need to be up around 8:30 AM for yoga and gym time.

2 comments

  1. How can I get an invite to the mixed house game?


    • It’s small stakes (I think 4/8 and .25/.50) and not my game.



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