The Bat Cave

Ugh. What a gross month. I topped it off with another miserable live session. In the interest of keeping my 9 month winning streak alive, I’m deciding to take tonight off, barely in the black.

I’m feeling a little depressed lately and middling gambling results aren’t helping out my mood much. Not only did I barely show a profit this month, but I had a pretty disastrous month financially as well. I moved into a new place and, long story short, my bankroll is about $1600 short right now. I took over a lease for someone and trusted them to pay the rent and deposit for me and for whatever reason, he couldn’t pay it (even though I handed him cash) and now owes me around $1500 (and another person owes me $120 for Kanye West & Jay-Z tickets). Oh, and Full Tilt still owes me $1600. Also, I blew my August budget by about $400 (the cost of moving and having no furniture). A frustrating situation under any circumstance, but exponentially more so since my month of September is built around jumping up in stakes. I requested five days off (that I normally work) this upcoming month to play juicy $8-$16 games and I’m playing a $300 No Limit tournament at Muckleshoot on September 9th. Fortunately, I have a backer… which is nice if I lose money, but kind of sucks if I win. Either way, the backing situation makes it a lot safer to play higher limits when half my bankroll is not in my possession.

I don’t know how I feel about my play this past month. I beat up the $8-$16 game both times I played it and I finally held my own at the $3-$6 level, but I couldn’t beat $4-$8 to save my life… a game I’ve been CRUSHING for two months straight. Perhaps it’s just variance, but I think my biggest leak nowadays is dealing with Run Bad, and on multiple occasions I turned somewhat bad sessions into disastrous ones. Or maybe I’m just burned out. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I do NOT have fun playing poker when I’m losing. That’s not a good trait for someone that’s hoping to play this game for a living someday. It’s not always peaches and cream… and I know that… but still.

Perhaps I need to approach my every day game like I’m playing $8-$16 because when I was playing that higher limit, my starting requirements were much tighter and I really felt like I played mostly mistake free poker. God only knows I’m not above a $4-$8 game so there’s no reason to start playing like I am. I kind of feel like I’m falling into the same trap I’ve been stuck in before: I can play weaker hands because I’m better than these people. While the second part of that statement may be true, the first part isn’t. I think it’s time to hit the books again and get my mind right because there’s no reason I should be consistently losing at $4-$8, even for just a month.

To add to my depression, my day job has me at my wit’s end. It pays my bills, but I can’t say it’s even remotely what I want to be doing with my time. I have no interest in the food service industry, but my hourly income would be pretty hard to match elsewhere. I enjoy writing, but there’s not much money in that, especially when you barely have a foot in the door. Other than that, I have no idea what else I want to do. Except play poker… which is why this past month has been so discouraging. After two months where I brought in $4400 gambling, my bankroll was rising rapidly and I was more than a third of the way to the point where I feel I could quit my job. Now… I’m looking at this $3000 I have and realize my date with destiny is so much further away than I want it to be.

August Results (YTD in parentheses):

Overall Gambling: +$191 (+$4261.36)
Poker: +$295 (+$4418.36)
Live: +$355 (+$4543.30)
House Games: -$60 (+$298.70)
Pit: -$89 (-$55)
Sports Betting: -$10 (-$122)
Other Bets: -$5 (+$20)

$3-$6: +$41 (-$505)
$4-$8: -$903 (+$1321)
$8-$16: +$643 (+$643)
NL: $0 (+$503)

Live Tournaments: +$367 (+$1536)